i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
