Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
