please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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