i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
