If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
