you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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