You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
