Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
