Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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