dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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