Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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