Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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