I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
