One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
