I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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