But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want to make out with him forever
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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