id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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