got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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