Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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