I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
