you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
