How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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