He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
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The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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