i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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