I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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