Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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