The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
