I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
