I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
