Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
