Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
