i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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