k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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