Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
