We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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