just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
