I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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