I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
