help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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