if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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