How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
