i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
