Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
