Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
