the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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