how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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