home. puking in laundry basket.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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