Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
thus making me awesome and them whores
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
