Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
