she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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