You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
