You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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