so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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