guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Still dying that you shit outside
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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