I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
