Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I party with great urgency now.
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