woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was like eating out sand paper
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
