i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
