I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
