How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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