before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
