NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
