I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
