the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You pole danced in your parka.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
