He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sober January is a disaster.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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