can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
