I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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