She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
